Hey All!

Wow! It's been a while since I've blogged.... Guess I need to get back into it.... This summer will bring many adventures so I'll try to keep it updated...

So…. I was at a Singles’ Bible Study tonight at one of the local churches, and we sang this song as part of the opening worship and it got me really thinking about my heart, passions, and how I portray Christ, etc… I’ll let you read the words first and then I’ll comment afterwards.

From The Inside Out
by Hillsong United
album: United We Stand (2006)
A thousand times I've failed
Still Your mercy remains
And should I stumble again
I'm caught in Your grace
Everlasting
Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame
Your will above all else
My purpose remains
The art of losing myself
In bringing You praise
Everlasting
Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame
In my heart and my soul
Lord I give You control
Consume me from the inside out
Lord let justice and praise
Become my embrace
To love you from the inside out
Everlasting
Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame
And the cry of my heart
Is to bring You praise
From the inside out
Lord my soul cries out

I had never heard this song before and as I was worshipping, the Lord would not let the words “inside out” leave my mind. As I pondered, even throughout the message that was brought, a deep conviction of how we are to live our life is because Christ has changed us. He sacrificed his life so that I may be changed from inside my heart to the outside actions that I demonstrate every day. Lately, I’ve been challenged with my actions and how I portray Christ. As most of you know, a majority of the patients that I treat in the ER are addicted to narcotics, benzos, or some other addictive medication. They flood my rooms seeking drug after drug, and not just on a monthly basis but with multiple visits within a week. As a medical professional and for the patient’s best well-being I do not prescribe them just to add to their addiction. However, they become belligerent and cause me to be forceful and I come across very hateful at times because I continually have to tell them I am not prescribing those drugs. And even though I have the best interest and health of the patient in mind, I don’t see how I am showing them Christ’s love outwardly. In my heart, I’m doing what’s best, but my actions don’t show it to the patient. So, I’ve been praying about this a lot lately, and haven’t found the best solution. I can’t call them drug addicts because that will just make them worse, so I’m not too sure what to do…

Anyways, so back to the song… I was challenged with how if we let our hearts and minds be controlled by the Holy Spirit, all our actions will be from an inward longing of wanting to give the ultimate glory to Christ. It’s easy to get caught up in the daily rituals of Christianity…. Get up, quiet time, daily activities, show love to someone, but really never truly worship God in a new and refreshing way because it becomes so common place. How often do we do things just for the sake of doing them because we know it’s the right thing to do? Or do we really think about each decision and prayerfully consider which way God is leading us to go? Granted there are spur of the moment decisions to be made, but if we consult the Holy Spirit who dwells within us for just a brief second it could change the decision altogether. So, I guess I’m just rambling on about how I’m being broken to the fact that I tend to let my selfishness and longing to please others to guide some of my decisions and that’s wrong. This song brought that to light, and I hope you all got something out of it as well (there are so many other things that could be said of the song)! So remember allow your soul to cry out to God so that all your actions and decisions will come from the inside and just be an overflowing to the outside world!

Praying for you all!
Jen